The Concentric Circles of Friendship

Hey readers! Before I begin, I would like to apologize to all of you for the reason that I haven’t written a blog post in a while.

Anyway, today I’m writing about this ‘self-made concept’ of ‘Concentric Circles of Friendship’. You must be thinking, what on earth is even this thing? And to this question of yours, I have an answer, I guess.

But before that, I’ll first tell you how and when this concept was created in my mind full of delusions and distractions and tons of weird fantasies. I was in 10th grade and as usual, my dad got a transfer order and hence,we moved to a new town after a couple of days. It got me thinking about how many people I have met in my life and in that count of people how many people I’m close to and again in that count of close friends how many people I can die for. So while I was thinking that, it was kind of making weird formations in my mind, and then I was like “Oh fuck! This so looks like concentric circles!” So, now you know how this concept came up.

Now, I’m going to tell you what is it and how exactly is applicable to all of us.

I’m a ‘recently-turned-into-ambivert’ person, so obviously, I enjoy the privileges of being an extrovert and an introvert as well. But still, I believe I’m more of an extrovert. I love meeting new people, hanging out, partying, etc. So, wherever I go and whatever I do, I never fail to make friends.

And I’m going to take college life friendship as a reference here because firstly, I’m a college student; secondly, youth population is more in comparison to other types of population and lastly, college is the time where we learn a lot about life and we change, both in negative and positive ways.

Everything’s rosy and cheesy at beginning, we make dozens of friends, make lots of promises to be friends for life and all that. So, while making these promises, we don’t think about future, all we want is to be happy and live in the moment. Everything goes good. That’s phase one.

But after a couple of months, reality hits you hard. The dozens of friends turn into a small basket full of friends. But then, phase one repeats here. In addition to that, they also find nooks together in the friends who left the group. But then, they all grow up and as they grow up, they do get busy. Rest you can figure out. And that’s phase two.

Now this is going to be the last phase, small basket of friends to hand picked two or three friends or maybe just one friend. You see, these friends are busy doing their own thing or maybe with some job or some kind of gig or maybe casually partying around with some of their friends who are maybe or maybe not your friends. But then, these friends can literally die or kill for you and when the time comes, you will do the same. You will rip the world apart for them. Drinking and smoking might not sound fun, but with these friends, there’s a whole different essence of drinking and smoking. You live those couple of hours getting drunk and high with these people with an amazing trip containing both good trips and bad trips. You might not meet these people daily, but whenever you meet, the aura just changes in a jiffy.

So, now this was the main logic behind my formation. I’ll tell you now how to put it in the formation.

Draw a big circle. Put names of everyone you know. Your acquaintances, close/good friends, special ones, just put them all in there. Then again draw a circle, inside the bigger one. Put names of your close/good friends and your special ones in that. Lastly, draw the smallest circle within the other two concentric circles. Put names of those whom you love or your lifelines or your best friends. Now take a pen, strike off the names of special ones and close/good friends from the biggest circle. Strike off the names of special ones from the second circle. And now in the innermost circle, you are not going to strike off a single name. So, you see, the biggest circle has acquaintances, then the next circle has close/good friends and the innermost circle is for the people you love.

So, what does it teach?

It’s very simple. You have a big life and obviously, you are going to meet people. And that’s why the big circle for them. But then we go on segregating, segregating in some cases isn’t that bad after all. And lastly when we think about the people we really love or care about, we realize that they are not too great in number. There are very few people special to us. And these are the people for life. That’s why, you never cut them off your life irrespective of what happens in life.

Well, this is all I had to say, I guess.

Thanks a lot for taking out your precious time to read this blog post.

I hope you liked it. Also, I’m open to feedback and criticism. Let me know in the comment section about what you feel about my post and how I can be better at it.

With Loads of Love,

Soumi Ghosh 🙂


Why I Always Repeat My Mistakes 

Hey, readers. Before I start, let me tell you all, I’m writing this post just for a vent. This is going to be a personal rant. So, read at your own risk.

Right now, I’m at home for my winter break, sleeping and eating well, sometimes a little bit of workout, talking to Mom and Dad and absolutely doing nothing productive other than workout and being happily lazy lying all day inside my blanket.

But today is different.

I’m depressed. I’m sad. I’m gloomy. I’m regretful. I’m ashamed. My Christmas is not merry. I’m listening to sad songs. I’m not being the happy lazy person. I’m lying inside my blanket thinking about every mistake I have committed till now and I’m repenting for it, hating myself as every second is passing.

I need someone to hug tight and cry and tell how terrible I feel because I did something wrong. Sounds weird, right?

Well, I feel terrible because this is something I didn’t do for first time, it’s a mistake I have been committing since I don’t remember when.

Well, it’s not something I’m going to mention in public, but yes, it’s like every other mistake I have done till now. Yes, I always repeat my mistakes and do nothing to fix them.

If I start listing out every reason for repeating my mistakes, I guess this post will be too huge to read. But as I said, this is a personal rant. I will write whatever comes to my mind first.

First off, I’m a very open person. I trust people easily. I don’t have much to hide. I’m not complicated. I’m very expressive. I’m a very relaxed person but also very paranoid, sometimes. I’m very emotional. I’m very annoying too, sometimes.

This can bring two kinds of conditions as follows:-

  • People love me. They love to involve me in their lives and take care for me like how mothers take care of their children.


  • People judge me in a negative way. They will always give me the false vibes and take advantage of me and then chuck me off like a garbage.

The second condition is something I have faced a lot in my life till now. I know people have worse conditions, but yes, this is a big deal for me.

So as these people give false vibes, you feel so tempted and happy that ultimately you start getting close to them and you let your guards down in front of them.

And as I said, I trust people easily. I fall for these false vibes every time. I have tried not to, but it used to be really hard to resist. But yes, since this thing has happened to me frequently, I don’t give much attention to these people anymore. But apart from that, I have also gained a lot of negativity in me. I’m sometimes too much of a pessimist.

Because of what so ever happened to me, I have lot of pain in my heart and that’s why I have trust issues with the right people. The people I mentioned about in my first condition, I mean.

I assume a lot of things. But my assumptions are meaningless because I’m terrible at assumptions. That’s why I hardly ever get marks in MCQs where I assume the answers.

I’m always confused and hence, I end up assuming very wrong things about people. Now that I have established these wrong assumptions in my head, I apply them in reality and then, I end up worsening the things with them.

And later on when I realize how much wrong I was, I regret every moment. I repent. I punish myself. I hate myself for being so stupid. I try to fix things, but I’m always surrounded by mother of fears that I don’t even do it.

This mother of fears and negative assumptions is the root of all my mistakes, repetitive mistakes I mean. And a big shout out to those people who have been there for me and loved me and took care of me even when I didn’t deserve it because at some point of time, at least once I have hurt you people for sure. I promise you people that as this year ends, everything negative also ends, if not everything, at least some things, for sure.

And those who can relate to this, you’re always welcome to join in this journey towards more positivity with me. I always welcome true and honest positive vibes.

I guess, that’s all I wanted to say.

Thanks a ton for taking out time to read this post.

-Soumi Ghosh, Student

Expect the Unexpected 

Hello, readers. I am really sorry I haven’t posted in a really really long time and hence, I’m writing this new blog post. 

Well, as I have mentioned in my earlier blogs, I am an engineering student who doesn’t have much to do other than binge watch movies and TV series, hang out with friends, study one night before exams and do usual engineering student stuff. 

Well, this thing came in my head while I was having a conversation with a friend about how I got something which I never expected and how happy I am because of it. I have been pondering a lot from past week about what I should post, so I guess today I’m going to do some preaching here about how having low or no expectations in some situations can be helpful. 

Well, so let me start with the story how I heard this phrase for the first time in my life. 

Well, we all have our own stories of fun, family, heartbreaks and not missing it, we all have some kind of love stories too. So, there was this guy I was crazily in love with, and we both used to talk about how life can be a bitch and how unfair it can be and that’s how we happened, we used to have all these ‘logic of life’ talks and that’s how we fell in love. 

So while we used to have these conversations, he always used to tell me this, ‘Life’s hard. You’re not going to get anything too easy. Always expect the unexpected.’ 

I was too young when he said that, and I was too lost in my rosy world to care about that. But now, I’m a two-decade old person and also, I’m a screwed up engineering student. So I pretty much understand this by now. 

 So, first off, let me tell you that it’s not a negative thing to have expectations, we are humans, expectations are something that we all carry in our genes. If I speak about me here, I  would say that I am a person who expects a lot from people and most of the times, ending up getting hurt.

But that’s okay. No one’s ever that much broken that they can’t fix it. It’s easily fixable and you can do it without becoming a shallow person. 

When we talk about expectations, usually, the first thing which comes in our mind is people with whom we share our deepest bonds, it can be anyone,  a friend, a specific person or any family member.

A bunch of people throw it on my face every time that what do I expect from my friends when there’s nothing to expect from friends. Well, that’s true at some point of time, but then friendships also break our hearts as we grow up.

I have been through various phases of my life where I have changed a lot. But my Dad has a job which involves a lot of transfers, so really never got too many close friends till class 11th. 2013 was a major change in my life. I  was sent to a boarding school and it was an all girls’ school. That was a really big problem for me because I never had or hardly had any female friends. But then I wrapped up everything and thought let’s have a new experience. So in the first year, I made friends. My first real girlfriends. But then, I admit I was a really dumb person. I didn’t know whom to trust and whom to rely upon blindly. Without understanding anything, I relied on the most wrong person ever and then I expected way too much from her. Hence, I had my first real heartbreak due to a friendship. But also, the people whom I took to be wrong, were the only ones who were there for me through my thick and thin. And one of them is still my best friend, infact, she’s my favourite person. A great shout out to all those people, I love you a lot and I’m grateful to each one of you for giving me something which I never expected.

So by this, I guess it’s understandable how expectations work in friendships. It’s understandable that we can’t find just like that whether they’re wrong or right for us, but yes, if we have doubts, all we can do is expect less. 

And yes, you need to make right friends to have some expectations from.  It’s true they won’t be able to make it everytime to your expectations, but that’s okay. They’ve given you the best times of your life and are still there with you to celebrate your good times with you and listen to your nonstop sad stories without complaining about it. 

Now I want to talk about expectations from a family member. Well, in my case, I’m not at all close to my relatives. My Mom, Dad and Brother are my only true family. I’ve had a lot of issues with my family. There was also a time when I felt like I hated them. But then as time grew, I understood how wrong I was to think like that about them. They’ve given me a lot of love and my family trusts me a lot even when I screwed up so much.

I’m not saying here that have low expectations from your family so that they love you and trust you a lot. What I mean is, do not have too high expectations too. Because we have to understand how our family is, and accordingly we have to adjust. As in , there are also some families which are dysfunctional and have very caged life,so yes, people who grow in those conditions turn out to be people with really less expectations but a lot of hopes. They can’t expect much from their own family,  because they aren’t going to get everything. So they gain a lot of positivity in themselves and they implement it on their peers, friends or colleagues or anyone who are around them by helping them out, solving their life issues as much as possible.

Now the most general thing, expecting something from the person whom we are in love with. This is something that almost everyone of my age can relate to, after all, we’re young, this is the time when we face heartbreaks from specific people we’re in love with.

I can relate myself to this the best. I have had a lot of heartbreaks and flings in my life. Some flings stayed as flings, some turned out to be relationships, some hanged in between relationship and flings and some cases were there where it was just one sided from my side. I’ve never had a good romantic relationship with anyone till now, but as the time passed, my expectations have lowered a lot. I was a person, who expected a lot from her partner. I wanted the guy to love me unconditionally, respect me, care for me like a small kid,  give me all of his time, give me all his attention and everything. I wanted everything. I lashed out on every guy for their attention and time, in short, I became too clingy and possessive. I expected way too much from every guy. I came on too strong on everyone to get what I wanted. But then heartbreaks happened. Too many heartbreaks. My expectations lowered bit by bit. I stopped expecting too much, but then, always had a hope. I’m not saying that I’m phobic to relationships, not at all. I’m just not expecting too much in a relationship. A normal, simple way works for me.

I guess I ranted too much about expectations in inter-personal relationships. Let’s talk about having expectations in some other conditions too.

For an instance, we are working for a great company  and we’re getting a good pay. Life’s all good and well.

Now, in every company, there are teams, and there’s a team leader for every team.

Now we take two team leaders, say A and B. Both of them are kind of team leaders who work really hard and are really good at their work. They have very high expectations from their respective team members. But they have one difference, A works with his team and sometimes his some team members commit mistakes, but he patiently tries to help them. Whereas B likes to tell his team members about what to do and what not to do and puts the blame on them if they commit a mistake.

So? Isn’t it obvious that team of A is going to work good? He keeps high expectations on them and he works for it. He makes sure everyone matches his expectations by helping them. And obviously, the work is going to be smooth. 

So here we can understand that having high expectations is also okay, but yes, you have got to work for it, you’ve got to earn it.

And now I guess I should stop writing. Honest reason? I’m not sure what more to write about.

 I’m pretty sure there might be way more than what I wrote in this post. And everything in this post is exclusively my view towards expectations, so if I’m wrong or if anything looks offensive to you, I’m extremely sorry for that. 

I’m open to criticism and feedback. So without any hesitation, please give your honest opinion about this blog post. 

Thanks a ton for taking out precious time to read this blog. 

-Soumi Ghosh, Student

Homosexuality: Criminal Offense or A Natural Identity?

Hello, readers. I’m writing a blog post after a really long time and this time, I’m writing a blog post on something completely different from what I usually write.

I’m an average college student who does what every college student does. While in college, I hang out with my friends, being a lazy bum in my hostel room, WhatsApp, Facebook and watch TV series all day and finally studying a night before my exams.

Right now, I’m on my summer vacation and I’m just too jobless and all I do is sleeping, watching TV, WhatsApp and Facebook.

Mr. Zuckerberg, You’ve done an amazing job. And right now I’m thanking you for this because of Facebook, I got this amazing idea about what I should write.

Today, I was randomly scrolling through my news feed, when I found how an Ecuadorian lesbian photographer Paola Paredes (31) went undercover and found a ‘facility’ where homosexuality is being ‘treated’. Like, seriously? Homosexuality needs ‘treatment’?

This is 21st century and we all are moving forward. Minds are changing, people are opening up and we can do whatever we want to do, and I mean that, literally. Literally, we can do anything. But still, there is something wrong with some of us. Some of us still don’t get the idea of acceptance and understanding about how we humans are, and that’s why we categorize some activities around as a taboo. And one of them, is homosexuality.

Well, people call it a taboo because it’s an ‘unnatural’ thing to do. I mean, why?

People say so much about how love binds us all, love is beautiful and all the same thing. Oh yes, romance between a guy and a girl is great but between a girl and a girl or a guy and a guy is ugly? How lame is that?!

To be frank, there was a time when I took homosexuality to be a taboo too. But then I met a lot of people around me and I found out how pure and unique it is.

Moreover, I found it totally cool and and totally out of the box. Usually what we see in our real lives and as well as in reel lives, we always see love stories of a guy and a girl, but we never see or maybe we see once in a blue moon anything related to homosexuality. Well, there are movies and books about it, but either they get banned or posters or books being burnt down to ashes. I don’t understand what’s so immoral and so disgusting about homosexuality. It’s just about two people who are attracted to same gender and what’s the big deal about it?!

Even though I’m not a homosexual but still it disgusts about how people treat homosexuals. I’m from India and you all know how still some minds are still closed in our country. It’s so closed that people can’t even discuss about it with their friends. I have met some people in my life who always had to hide the fact even from me that they are homosexuals till the last day because of the terrors they might have had to face because of the society. It makes me feel sad that they had to do it and all because of the ‘society’ and the famous lame phrase of our country ,i.e, ‘Log kya kahenge?(What are people going to say?)’

21 years back, a movie was released in India, wiz. ‘Fire’ starring Shabana Azmi and Nandita Das, was banned back then because some people described as ‘alien theme to the culture’.

Such a sick thing to do! For the people who don’t know about this movie, the gist of the movie is that two ladies going through too much of problems in their married life with their husbands and finally they found each other and fell in love. That’s it. No big deal. And for this Censor Board of India did so much of drama for releasing the movie. Anyway, after a lot of controversies and criticism, the movie was released after 2 years with loads of censored scenes in India.

Now, the idea behind the topic about which I’m writing now.

Treatment Center For Homosexuals. *faints*

This photographer from Ecuador, Paola Paredes, who is herself a lesbian, went undercover inside some of the torture clinics of Ecuador who ‘specialize’ in ‘homosexuality treatment’ and released some really shocking and depressing pictures online.This picture shows how they’re being beaten up/ treated violently in these rehabilitation centers.

 These rehabilitation centers also follow the cheap concept of ‘corrective rape’ for both men and women.

UntilYouChange2Paola also says that these torture clinics are highly religious and they follow their motto very strictly, ‘Until You Change’ .

Paola got in this with help of her parents about whom I would say just one thing; lots and lots of respect. She would’ve never been able to reveal about this to the whole world if her parents weren’t this much supportive and open minded.

Paola did an amazing thing by revealing this thing to the world by her skills and for her kind. I don’t know about how many or who all are or have already known about this, but people, we all should support her effort of giving people a message to all of us that it’s totally okay to be gay and how we can remove this from our list of ‘so-called taboos’.







  1. Facebook
  2. The Huck Magazine
  3. Picture Courtesy: Paola Paredes
  4. Movie poster: Google Images


Let Go and Be Happier

We are humans. No matter how much doomed species we are, there’s nothing on the Earth which we don’t have access to. We have access to anything we want, anything we see, anything we desire. And as this goes on, we also have the access to the negative side of the world, revealing the side of ours which we ourselves don’t want to see or to feel.

It’s harder to face demons present in our own body, mind and soul than in someone else’s.

The worst part is every bad thing gets easily inculcated in us in a much easier way than a good thing, we all know it. When somebody asks us that why do we do such a thing, we usually give some lame excuse every time or cry out loud in front of people or commit suicide and hence, revealing to the people what kind of losers we are and letting them judge us in every way possible. This statement leads to questions; how do we fight our own demons? How do we not let us revealed as losers? How do we throw away all the pain and sorrows we have? How do we stop making excuses to avoid all the wrong-doings around us?  How do we prove ourselves? So many questions, but only one answer. Let it go. Yes, we should know how to let go of few things.

Letting go of something which can be defined in many ways possible. Some call it letting go of emotions, some call it letting go of bad habits, some call it letting go of someone special. Everyone has a reason to let go. And it is good to let go. People will judge and ask you, “Why aren’t you the same?”. But the thing you should realise is that, you have changed and you have let go the things which has made you happier now. 

As far as my personal experiences, I have usually let go of my romantic relationships. But that’s not it. Letting go of a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to throw away the person if the person is right. But there are some things which we need to push away if we ever want to be happy in future. 

We can take an example of Chetan Bhagat as well. He is a qualified student of IIM and IIM tag name is only enough. There are many people who curse him for not going on the track of a normal job guy with a handsome salary. But don’t we ever see that how happy he is that he chose a career of his own preference thinking little about what others will say. It’s because he let go of it. He let go of the usual path so that he can be happy and satisfied with his life. 

There are a loads of people around the globe who are crying about their life, drinking bottles and bottles of alcohol out of depression and what not. But none of these are the solutions to the problems. 

All we got to do is to give away some habits and things that bring out the bad in us. Then we can be happy forever. 

Happiness comes in small small pieces,

Never lose that. 

Sadness always comes in abundance, 

Always let go of that. 

Nobody’s Alone In The World

Before I start with the topic, I would like to say one thing to the readers. This topic doesn’t depict specifically about any boyfriend-girlfriend or any business partnership. This is about that how we need actual partnerships in our life.

We have heard many people around us inclusive of our friends and family saying that we should not be dependent on any one person because that may lead to some unusual attachment which may make us feel insecure and worried about many issues which are not meant to be taken too much of care. But the fact is, we are never alone. We always have a partner in our life. May it be a friend or a family member or a business partner or a colleague, it could be anyone.

A partnership is nothing but a bond created between two people as an outcome of trust,faith and expectations.

Basically whenever we go through the definition of partnership given above, some people mistake it to be  relationship or attachment. We trust someone that doesn’t mean that we are attached to that person. It’s just their quality or nature which makes them trustworthy. But yes, also it is correct that mostly if we are trusting someone we are close to them in such a way that we are bound to trust them.

Many people tell us that they are or they  feel very lonely all the time. But actually it is not like that. It is their fault that they choose to be like that. We have a family. We have friends. We have colleagues. We have people around us. And that’s how we choose our partners.

Till now you read about how we make partnerships and the facts related to partnerships. Now I’ll tell you about different kind of partnerships and the differences among these partnerships. This might sound a bit confusing, so, I’ll put some day-to-day examples for you so that you can understand.
1. Suppose you’re making a dealership with another company for your products and sales. So, what you need to do there is, just trust the right person and you’re almost there to succeed.
2. Suppose there is a big group of friends of fourteen to fifteen people. But, two of them are very close to each other. People may take their bond as an unusual attachment. But still, their trust and understanding of each other makes them the real friends or you can say, real partners.
3. Suppose we take up a case of a big family. But still, one girl is attached only to her mom and the same feeling is from her mom’s side. It’s because they trust each other. So, they are partners.

And now we collectively take these three cases, the difference comes in the content,i.e, the things which we share with them. The explanation is when we need to work for a company partnership, we don’t need to be too emotional but yes, trust on the right person is required because it’s for an official purpose. So we put this kind of partnership completely aside from our personal lives. But when it comes to friends and family, emotions do play a big role. Some things are there which we can’t share with mom dad, but can be shared with a friend and vice versa.

So, we conclude this article/blog post considering the following points:-
1. Partnership is completely based on trust.
2. Partnership doesn’t need emotions always.
3. Partnership is mutual.

Partnership is something which has existence in everyone’s life. Nobody is left out. Nobody’s alone. Nobody’s gonna be alone, ever.

Guns and Roses Are Friends

Emotions..this is word which is mostly confuses us. ‘Cause we all somewhat misunderstand this word. People say if we have emotions, we cry out and laugh out as well, we show everything we have in our heart and mind. But hello people, what about those who never show or express themselves? Those who have gone through much in their lives? Can’t believe people can be so merciless for these people. For those people I have one thing to say, they’re emotional, not expressive. Emotions are not only about how clean hearted a person is. Every feeling is an emotion. Anger or calmness, happiness or sadness. Everything.
And among these all emotions and feelings, two opposite-to-each-other 4-lettered words which either binds us or becomes the reason for criticism or can create wars too. And those two words are Love and Hate.
Love is a word with countless definitions. Some say it is a special friendship, some say it is a special bond, but no one has a specific definition.
Hate is a word with a sack full of grudge in it. When disliking goes to levels far up, it gradually turns into hate.
Perfect antonyms isn’t it? But do we know that these words are connected? Here, I’ll not speak about differences. I’ll speak about the common stuff. Yes. It’s true. A lot many things are common.

Everything is fair in love and war.

Look up the quote. Think.
Loving and Hating people is too difficult task.’Cause these are the emotions which only come out when we know and understand people completely. And yes. These are emotions which are pure and genuine. Fake love and fake hatredness never carries out for long.
Leverages are something which are a part of both love and hate. Before saying more about this, let me tell the meaning of this word. Leverages are something which when exchanged can be used against each other or can become the source of each other’s strength. When we are a part of any relationship or friendship, leverages are required to be exchanged ’cause this helps them to gain trust and understanding and hence the bond gets stronger. But when we hate people or if we are a part of selfishness, leverages  can destroy us ’cause we can easily use their weak points against them to have any sort of revenge or just for self satisfaction. And that’s why I believe in one thing, people whom we love the most, we can hate them the same way if we want to.
Sometimes it happens that, we hate people just like sworn enemies for a reason, but at the same time, their absence also disturbs you a bit. And the same way, people whom we love madly, if they do something too wrong to us, somewhere in our hearts, in a small corner, hatredness makes a little home.
So as I come to end of this post, what I really want people to know is,
Antonyms are always opposite,
Do we ever try to find similarities?
Words have many synonyms,
Do we ever try to find differences?
Loving and Hating both are deep,
They are perfect antonyms,
But yes,
In some way they are perfect synonyms..

Love and Hate are connected. Hence, Guns And Roses Are Friends.

Soumi Ghosh